Thursday, October 14, 2010

Do You Suffer From Brick Wall Syndrome?



I know I am not the only homeschool mother out there with this affliction!  I am sure every single one of you has suffered or is currently suffering from what I call Brick Wall Syndrome!  My case is chronic, although it does go into remission from time to time.  It is painful, and sometimes ugly.  Symptoms vary from one person to the next.  It is brought on by a glazy eyed child with a faraway look possibly in tears, saying, "I don't get it!" after you have explained "it" for the umpth-teen time! 

Brick wall syndrome has driven many homeschooled children right into public school.  This is an option for treatment much like surgery.  A last resort, if you will.  However there are no guarantees it will not return in the form of "homework."  Yes, it is a serious affliction for which there is no cure, but there are some excellent treatment options available.


Connect

Talk to other homeschoolers.  They won't bite!  Afterall, they have been through their fair share of brick walls, too.  They might have some fantabulous tips, tricks, and advice on how to jump all kinds of common hurdles.  I know I have a few under my belt, and would love to share.  Just ask, you never know how simple the solution may actually be.


Learning Styles/Assessments

Sometimes it is just a matter of knowing the right angle to approach the lesson.  One child might not understand it unless they are standing on their head singing it, while another child might get it after there is a quiet environment for them to read alone.  One might need to do a craft on the topic,  or another might need it explained to them with vivid pictures.  Yes, it can feel like the days of old, adjusting that foil adorned antenna with a wire hanger attached to try to get a clear picture on TV. 

   Can you see it, yet?   


There are some wonderful assessment tests out there to determine your child's learning style, it just might be that you need to tweak the way the information is presented.  Here is a link for a free online test.
You could also get this book from the library, The Way They Learn by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
Of course, there are many other excellent resources on learning styles out there, as well.  It could make a world of difference.

  YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!


Skip It and Move on

Oh, but how do you dare!!  This is SO important!  She will need to know how to diagram a sentence to perform brain surgery later on in life!  I mean, really.  Is it life or death that they know it RIGHT NOW!!!  Relax, deep breaths, don't feel defeated, or like a failure.  Instead feel liberated from the topic at hand for the moment, and (gasp) dare I say it... skip to a different lesson and move on!  Try again in another week, month, next year maybe even.  Bottom line is, if they aren't ready, or willing -guess what?  You can't make them!


Curriculum Shmiculum!

Don't be loyal to a certain curriculum.  You may need to supplement with manipulatives, or toss the math and keep the rest, but don't be opposed to new material.  You can sell it, or whatever, just don't keep it if it's not working, even if you paid good money, even if you had all your hopes and dreams wrapped up in it, and it was your holy grail of curriculums.  Toss it, trade it, sell it, give it away.


Get Jiggy Wit It!

If it feels like perhaps it may be burn-out causing this giant brick wall.  By all means take a break!  Play hooky, go fishing, meet up with other homeschoolers just itching for a break too.  They may have some good tips on what worked for them.  It could do you all some good!  Bust out in an impromptu music session.  Blast it, let them bang on pots and pans.  Get jiggy wit it!  silliness and humor can erase all mental dark murky clouds hanging around in there.  Sometimes just a break in the routine is a huge refresher.  I love, love, love me some Download & Go lapbook unit studies for just this very thing.  For those of you whom cannot stand to just take a week off and do nothing, this is a great way for them to learn while having a blast making lapbooks.  You can get a wide range of topics to choose from.  I highly recommend!


Don't Take It Personally

Boy is this a hard one for me!  My first thought when they just aren't learning is, 'What am I doing wrong?'  Self doubt creeps in like a thief robbing me of my joy.  'All those doubters and Home Educator-haters out there are right after all!  Just who do I think I am?' 
Nope, that's not it. Oh, we can be so downright mean with ourselves at times.  Just remember this, if they were in a classroom with 20 other kids, this brick wall you are beating yourself up over would be virtually invisible and nobody would even care.  (not always) It would possibly get completely overlooked, and they would never learn it.  They for sure wouldn't get the one on one they need, or the care of a teacher willing to do all the things mentioned above in order to help him "get it."  No one is to blame, here.  Everyone has their stumbling blocks, their brick walls. It can be scaled!


Take it to the top

Last, but certainly not least, take'er to the Maker.  This may be the last piece of advice, but it is step number one, because it really needs to come first.  Ask for help from the One who knows our troubles and struggles. 
"Jesus wasn't a homeschooling mother," you may say?  Obviously not, but he IS an expert at overcoming Brick Walls.  Just ponder that one.
He may not deliver you out of them, but he will guide you through them.   Also, remember to love that child whose driving you mad!  God designed our childrens' brains the way they are.  He created them with the unique and wonderful personalities they posses, and knows exactly what each child needs. 

Yes, Brick Wall Syndrome can be real and ugly, but after all those walls have been scaled, one day you will look back and see it was all worth it.  God bless your homeschool.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Ma,

    I am new to your blog. My best friend, Becky G,recommended it to me.

    I have read through a few of your posts and I am encouraged by what I read.

    I am homeschooling my 3 and 5 year old. Kindergarten. I think things are going pretty good...But every once in a while, ok...more often than that, the doubts creep in.

    God bless you and yours,
    Clorissa

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  2. Wow, thanks, Clorissa! Welcome aboard! I hope you can stick it out! It can be so rewarding once you get past the doubts, and guilts, and comments about socialization! If you are local, I can get you some resources to connect with others in the area, and groups, co-ops, activities, etc...
    Look me up if you are on FB. -Melanie

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  3. Thank you for the encouragement!

    I'm not sure exactly where you are located, I am about 2 hours east of Springfield (IL)If you know of any resources near Paris Il, I would love to hear about them.
    My best friend, Becky said she went to school with you. I went to school in Plains in 86 and 87. She is a wonderful friend!

    I will look you up on Facebook!

    Thank You,
    Clorissa

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  4. Was trying to find advice and found your article about being behind (what date I am unsure). My last child, who is 13, has been struggling, and on top, we got behind. However, she is insisting she wants to go to a public school for remainder of junior high, plus. It is a long story how we became homeschoolers, but I can sum it up as two oldest were being "left behind" and no matter how much help we tried to get, they worked against us (as in saying there must be family troubles to account for it, calling out the dogs on us through the Educational Service District). By the time we made our decision with the last two, I was weary and emotionally beaten up by the system. I took advice from friends, tried to do as much research as possible, but failed to get all of my information for our state (testing....). So now I am in a quandry. The youngest wants public school, I know she needs much work to get up to their standards, and have been having anxiety attacks (no, really have been) about letting her go into the schools, and then being subjected to their scrutiny because she is not up to par according to their thinking. She is a slow learner, takes effort to get her to understand things, and I KNOW this means they would label her "learning disabled" and make her, and me, very miserable in the process. Being behind will not help matters. I am hoping to get her through as much material and am ordering "Hooked on Schoolhouse CD sets, after testing of course. My anxiety is not about being behind, not about her learning ability, it is about the public school system and what it has done to us in the past, and how we were treated by them. We were the parents and apprently we were the enemies. I need advice, hoping for an outside view, friends and family seem to have trouble being objective with us (we have had many trying to get out kids alone to " talk to them", although there is no problems in our family...get the picture? I just need someone to help me find a perspective I have not been able to on my own. Thanks

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  5. Becky, sorry I am just now getting back to you. I have not been keeping current on my blogging. I know how it is with family not being in support, and I would be having anxiety, too! We do not have state testing, so I am never worried about that. I would advise you to join The Homeschool Lounge @http://www.thehomeschoollounge.com and then seek out a group in your area, or a group that shares the same curriculum, style, etc.. If you dont HAVE to send youngest to public school- DON'T. She has no idea how ridiculed she will be, and you do. I know how hard it is to press on, I have had my own struggles. Press on , though, we must. You are not alone. Please follow your gut. Your children will be better off if you do.
    Look me up at The Lounge, I'd love to talk with you in a more private setting.

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  6. These ware wonderful tips! I have found that when my kids get that blank "I don't get it" look, one of the best things I can do is give them a week or two off. Their little brains need time to rest.

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